Aapse milkar kushi huii Bhārat. Phir milenge.

As I am sitting at the program center waiting for my dreaded flight home, I have found myself reflecting on the past six weeks. This has been one of the most beneficial learning experiences thus far in my life. Yes, I was studying India’s medical field and I learned a lot of different things via lectures and excursions. But more importantly I learned numerous life lessons. I have learned so many new things in a mere six weeks.

I developed new perspectives on cleanliness and privacy. When I first came to India I had found myself very bothered by what appeared to be a lack of privacy standards and hygiene, especially in hospital settings. I got through this discomfort by reminding myself that I was in a different country and while the standards may be astonishingly different, that doesn’t make them wrong. Later on in the journey I was able to make reflections on how my perceptions changed. I felt that the reason the standards differed so much was due to different cultural needs. In America we love to over sanitize things. Antibiotics are radically prescribed as allopathic medicine is the norm. This is our culture. We expect a certain representation of glossy floors, fresh sheets, paper covers, closed toe shoes, gloves, and white coats when at a doctor’s office. In India, it is a different story. Some medical buildings have open hallways and it is not uncommon to see lizards and cockroaches. Sandals are not uncommon and attire ranges from traditional Indian wear to business casual. Different procedures are used as well like leech therapy. Sanitation isn’t as much of a concern here because the people of this culture have developed an immune system strong enough to deal with what they have. When it comes to privacy, America does everything they can to keep patients identity confidential. Patients are given separate rooms with one on one doctor service. Informed consent forms are a must in order for a student to observe treatments. In India it appears that privacy doesn’t matter. Forms were not signed when our group was to observe a treatment. Multiple patients may be in a single exam room to see a doctor. Closed doors were not common. At first this appalled me, but after experiencing the culture, I now understand why. The people of India have an overlying sense of privacy. People are not nosy nor is it common to hear gossip. In short: the people of this culture know how to mind their own business. That is a short coming of Americans. We become too wrapped up in what everybody else has that we can’t focus on our own needs. The privacy standards in America are needed so that treatment can be effective.

In regards to medicine, my views have not changed. I have never been a fan of allopathic medicine. I feel that the culture we live in is much too willing to over medicate rather than fix the root of the problem. Alternative medicine is something I find fascinating. When you look to nature you realize that you already have everything you need to sustain a happy and healthy life. It is important, however, to not only be educated about the various plants and herbs, but to understand the correct ways to implement them. I am not an expert; actually I am the farthest thing from it. I have an interest and desire to learn more and further my understanding. What I do know is that I have been a victim of over medicating. I have been prescribed things that were never needed and I have had doctors prescribe medications that should never be combined. This has made me very particular about the chemicals I ingest and with any prescription I research what should not be combined before agreeing to take it.

I learned a lot about social interactions. Being an introvert, group settings are not my forte . . . especially in a foreign country. The way I function in social situations is quite complicated. In order for me to interact with the people, I first need to become comfortable and aware of my surroundings. It typically isn’t an issue, but when you are traveling every few days in a foreign country with a group of strangers—then you only have a couple of choices. The first choice is to isolate yourself, work on the school material only, and not leave the vicinity of your comfort zone. The second choice is to buck it up, remember why you are here, and broaden your horizons. I’d be lying if I said I went with the better choice. I did eventually get out of my own way and that was when the true growth happened.

Unfortunately with any group, conflicts arose. There were disagreements among group members and bridges were burned. If there is one thing I have learned is that it is perfectly ok to rid yourself of toxic people. Not all personalities mesh well with one another. It is not necessarily a fault among either party; it just means that a friendship cannot work. What is a problem is when someone does not respect the mutual give and take balance of a friendship. If one party is giving—whether it be supplies from a first aid kit in a peer’s time of need, spotting a few extra rupees here and there, or simply lending a shoulder to cry on and kind words—it is perfectly acceptable for the other party to accept this. The problem arises when the latter party only takes. This is manipulation and unfortunately it happens. What the first party then learns is that there are indeed limitations and it is important to stop before reaching them in order to prevent being burnt out and with nothing left of their own.

It is also important to remember that not everyone will agree with you. In fact, there will be people out there that will label you wrong no matter what you do or how you try to change your behaviors. Do NOT let these people affect your self-worth. These people simply do not mesh with your personality. That is ok. It’s better to just accept the fact that you will never please them and get on with your life. When you are bitter towards another person, the only one you are harming is you. It’s already been made apparent that this person does not value your opinion—you not liking them will not affect them in anyway. Rather it makes you mopey and avoidant and completely takes away from your own experiences. 

In that regard, do not shut yourself off. No matter the person, the personality type, the culture, we are all human beings with thoughts, feelings, dreams, aspirations, and purposes. Just because someone doesn’t mesh well with you it doesn’t mean they are any less of a human being—they have just as much right to be on this earth as you do and you need to respect their existence.

The rest of the things I learned vary between life lessons and new experiences. They would be easier to understand in a bulleted list.

·         Women of all cultures are one of the world’s strongest creatures.

·         Life is so much more enjoyable when you let go of material things.

o   In agreement with this—yes, it is indeed possible to survive without a cellphone.

·         While I already knew I wanted to take the therapy route, I would more specifically like to be an art therapist.

·         Nature saves lives in numerous ways.

o   For me nature was my holistic health. I found the spirituality I’ve long been searching for. Nutritionally it supplies everything I need. Emotionally it never fails to calm me and guide me to a new perspective.

·         True happiness does exist and it is nothing to be afraid of.

·         Children and animals never fail to bring a smile to my face and warm my heart.

·         It is important to learn things as if you are a child: with an open and completely unbiased mind.

o   Learn as if everything is new. Don’t compare. The first time you saw a rose it was beautiful. Now whenever you see a rose you compare it to the last one you saw. Don’t do this. Rather, see each rose for what it is—beautiful.

·         Pictures are wonderful visual reminders, but nothing compares to truly being present in the moment.

·         It is possible to visit a place once and feel more at home than you have your entire life.

·         Going through the motions of daily life and truly being alive are completely different things.

·         Do not criticize who you were yesterday or a week ago or in the past. The truth is that person no longer exists.

·         Never give up.

o   In Hindi it is said “kabhi asha mat chodiya” which translates to “never lose hope”. This had been my mantra throughout this trip.

·         Goodbyes do not exist.

As I am concluding my trip and reflecting on every aspect, I am astounded by the amount of self growth and knowledge I have acquired. I am very sad to be departing this beautiful country. The title of this post is Hindi for “Happiness happened after meeting you India. Until we meet again.” I already know this will not be my last visit. I’ve even been looking into ways I can make this a permanent home for myself (after finishing my degree of course). So India, I would like to thank you for everything. I promise to return one day and until then, I will cherish our experiences.

  I can remember when I started this blog I was simply picking a title that would catch the reader’s attention. I can honestly say that my life did begin in India.

Never Give Up

Today was filled with so much joy. I had woken up after a very late night of talking with new friends to an upset stomach. I had wanted to go back to sleep after breakfast, but my body wasn’t having it. Then, opportunity knocked on my door—well, actually it was my friend Joe asking if I wanted to go on a hike. Agreeing to go was one of the best decisions of my life thus far.

We left around 11am to find a waterfall. It was a hike indeed. I had carelessly packed my tennis shoes in my suitcase back in New Delhi, so my foot attire was a pair of Walmart strappy sandals—not ideal hiking gear. However, everything that happened on this adventure was well worth the exhaustion and tired feet. Today I found the real me. There was something about this waterfall that made every little problem running in the back of my head disappear. I dove into the water. I didn’t care that it was bone chillingly cold or that I’d have to spend the hour walk back entirely soaked. I had the time of my life. The most wondrous part of this hike was the trip down the mountain. We decided not to take the trail which we had come up, but instead we walked down the rocks and water. This water was crystal clear. Friendly goats stood on either side of the river bank, and of course I had to pet them. The moment I pet one, the rest came over for their equal share of attention.

Today I felt one with my inner child. I was nimble and graceful while trekking the rocks and wading through the stream. I found several coves to hide in. The view of the mountains brought tears of joy to my eyes. Everything seemed new and fresh.

Now, let me explain my reasoning behind the title of this post. Yesterday I had let other people’s negativity bring me down to their level. I was bitter and angry and ended up hurting myself (I hit my head rather hard on the end of my bed whilst attempting to lay back as I cursed the universe). I let other people dictate how I felt about myself. This morning when I woke up I hadn’t looked at it as a new beginning. I started off with a shame cycle and a negative outlook. Everything changed once we reached the waterfall. We were the first ones in the water, and once we got in so did everyone else. Smiles were shared all around and everyone was modeling silly poses for pictures. When we were walking back down the mountain, we found a rock with the phrase “Never Give Up” painted on it. Joe was taking candid photos and happened to catch one of me midst falling and laughing at myself. I realized that this photo was representative of my journey. I have fallen an abundance of times. While at times it takes me a little longer than others, I have yet failed to get back up. I have fought tooth and nail to get to where I am now. The amount of joy and freedom I felt on this two hour hike made me realize that everything has truly been worth it. It felt as if when I entered the water all of my worries had been washed away.

 

The Dalai Lama XIV said this wonderful poem below:

“NEVER GIVE UP
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up.”

I found this poem later in the evening on a scroll for 70 rupees (a little over one American dollar). I treated myself to it as a simple reminder to NEVER give up. The rest of my day was just as enlightening. I don’t remember the last time I felt this alive. I have written about my other enlightening experiences, but this surpasses them all. I felt the life come back into my eyes. I felt free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Awakening

I would like to apologize for how long it has taken me to write this piece. Part of it was due to lack of Wi-Fi, and the other part was simply that I didn’t know how to adequately convey this into words. I am still not confident in my abilities to do so. I will begin with a caution: this piece is going to say some things that you (the reader) may not agree with. There is a slight chance that you will label me crazy, and that’s ok, but please be mindful of where your judgements are coming from.

This piece is about my spiritual awakening. I am not going to preach to you. I in no way relate what happened to religion. What happened is a transformation. My eyes were opened for the very first time. This transformation began in Naini Tal but it was in Rishikesh that the true eye opener happened. It was the fourth of July and I was sitting in a Yoga Theory lecture. I became consumed by what the professor was saying. All I could do was stare into his eyes—I failed to jot down a single note that day. This is where it gets a little weird. About half way through the lecture I had begun to see a white aura around the professor. I was concerned that either I really needed to eat something or I had completely gone bonkers. I had blinked several times and looked away but every time I looked back at him the aura remained. I kept this information to myself until that evening when I told one of the staff I confide in. She explained to me that a white aura is the purest. She also became excited and said that a veil has been lifted.  I had been all smiles that day. Several shopkeepers had given me small trinkets for free as a symbol of luck. Everyone in the group had commented about the energy I was radiating. The kicker? Everything that the professor had said were things I have been told my entire life. It was on that day that I finally heard everything.  Everything had clicked and I felt like it was the first time I had ever been awake.

The next day I had woken up feeling off. I attempted to use grounding to get through the lecture. As I went to leave the classroom the professor and his wife had stopped me for a chat. They wanted to tell me how beautiful I was and have a conversation. I then informed him of the aura I had seen. He told me that I was very rare and gifted and that I will be a healer. I shared with him my career goals—art therapist—and he said I had chosen wisely. We wrapped up our conversation and I went on my merry way. That day I had done some independent exploring of Rishikesh. I got lunch with some of my classmates who had told me that I was glowing and they truly acknowledged the shift in me. I wish I could put it into words. Everything seemed brighter—the colors were more vibrant, the smells more pleasant—I guess it was like wearing rose colored glasses. I had felt comfortable in my own skin. I enjoyed food. I laughed to the point my face and belly hurt. I danced in the rain, oh how I learned to love the rain. I had experienced true happiness. For those few days I had let go and it was absolutely amazing.

Unfortunately after we left Rishikesh I had gotten in my own way. I found myself bitter and cutting myself off from being social. I had seen the Taj Mahal in that time and I didn’t even appreciate it.  It wasn’t until yesterday that I finally found the joy again. I am currently in Palampur. I will be leaving in two days for Dharmashala. Ever since I have arrived in Palampur I have not been able to keep a single meal down. My energy was depleted and my mood was even worse. Eventually I had had enough, as well as the staff and yesterday I saw the doctor. To humor me he ordered blood work to check my liver (I caught on that this was merely an act of b.s. but played along just as well). Early this morning I got blood drawn from my right arm through a syringe to have my liver checked. At 9:45am I met with the doctor again to go over my results. He asked me how many times I had vomited since our last meeting (3) and then checked my pulse. He then looked me in the eyes and said “Ivey, what is all the stress about?” I rolled my eyes and thought “great, another doctor who thinks I’m crazy.” I shrugged my shoulders and tried to hear him out. My stomach issues were stemming from severe emotional distress that I wasn’t processing. The doctor had locked his office door and wouldn’t let me leave until I talked. I can honestly say that I have never had an appointment quite like this. Eventually I laid everything out on the table. In that hour and a half I had learned so much about life and myself. In the end, I left his office a new person. I shed my baggage which I have lugged around for so many years. I feel lighter. I feel . . .  at peace.

This piece was a bit more personal than my usual ones. The reason I share it is because this awakening is exactly why I am in India. It was one of the things mentioned to me by the scholarship committee. It was my main goal out of this experience.  I think that so many of us are wasting our lives searching for ourselves when the truth is right in front of us—All we have to do is open our eyes. I’ve known who I am since the day I was born but I let other’s opinions sway my perception. I have adorned several masks and eventually got lost behind them. There have been times that I have briefly seen the real me and I was afraid of her. She wasn’t what I was told—she had undying potential and power. Now I am ready to accept this. This is who I am and my life is going to be awesome. In the words of Jen Sincero, I am a badass and I am going to live my life in my new awakened state. Will you join me?

See You Later Naini Tal

On Thursday July 2^nd we packed up and moved on out of Naini Tal to travel to Rishikesh for a week. It was a happy moment for some and a bittersweet moment for others. I truly loved my stay in Naini Tal. This was the place that I celebrated my birthday, where I started to come out of my shell, where I felt in touch with nature, but most of all this is the place that I felt at home. I have not felt homesick on this trip because I have yet in my life to feel at home and Naini Tal changed that for me. I absolutely loved my homestay family and I could not be more grateful to them for not only opening their home to my roommates and me but for doing so with wide open arms. I learned so much during my twelve day stay in the mountains. I learned how beautiful life can be once you truly open your eyes. I learned the importance of family. I learned that fart jokes by two and half year old boys are funny in any language. Comparatively, art is also a universal language. I learned that my hatred for spiders could increase, and it did. The lessons continue: cold showers aren’t all that bad and they do wonders for your hair; never leave the country without your music—you will go mad; a child’s smile is the most precious of life’s jewels; simplicity is happiness. The last two resonate with me the most. After spending several days with my homestay brother’s two and a half year old son and my paint sets, I knew that I needed to leave them with him. Watching him mix colors on the paper and look up at me for approval was one of many highlights from this trip, but it is one that warms my heart. My last night there I put everything in its appropriate packaging and gave him the brushes, pallet, paper, and pencils. Seeing his eyes light up as he looked to both his father and grandmother was more than rewarding enough to part with my materials. I can always buy more and now another creative mind can continue to do what he enjoys. He is a very shy child but I was fortunate enough to get him to warm up to me enough for a hug here and there and a few games. The second one is very important. For the past twelve days I have had Wi-Fi maybe ¼ of the time. While at times it was frustrating I learned to let it go. I’m not in India to be watching cat videos on YouTube or updating my Facebook status. Everything I need is right here with me. I had a roof over my head, a firm bed to sleep on, more than enough food in my tummy, plenty of safe drinking water, and human interaction. There truly isn’t anything more needed to achieve happiness. Now, I do need to make something quite clear—this stay was not all rainbows and ponies. There were days that I cried. I was very sick for about four days and finally was able to keep food down on my birthday. It rained poured about ¾ of the stay. The schedule was constantly changing. But these things all seem quite minor to me. To be quite frank, a month or so ago these things would have had me in the fetal position screaming to the world “why me?!” Why not me? Why not you? These things helped me to appreciate this stay even more. These past twelve days have helped me to grow in numerous ways. I have wasted so many years of my life depriving myself of the joys of being human, but in these twelve days a very important shift began. I began to taste food and enjoy it. I went for walks and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with the beauty of nature. Instead of having a full mind, I attempted to be mindful any chance I got. And I began to process some very important things. While talking with someone important to me about personal matters reality knocked me to the ground. I have spent years destroying my body because it has been used and abused and I didn’t want it anymore. Her response was astounding. Nature is used and abused left, right, and up the middle. She asked me if we should destroy it too. “Do not look at yourself with disgust; you are a gift to this earth. You are beautiful; you are a light, an energy, an essence. You are nature herself.” Just let that sink in.

                I loved my stay in Naini Tal. If I continued to explain everything I learned we would end up with a novel. I will end on this note: I refused to say “goodbye” to Naini Tal because I feel that goodbyes are forever—a closed door and a fading memory. I left my homestay family with three simple words: “see you later.” I do plan to visit once again, but if these plans do not work at least the door is still open. These three words are a promise to keep in touch and have our paths cross again.  

Stay Connected

If there is one piece of advice I could give everyone it would be to stay connected with your true self. Take time to turn off all electronics and remove yourself from the world of social media. I know, me writing this is kind of an oxymoron . . . but I’m telling you this because it works. These past few days in Naini Tal have truly opened the door to my spiritual side—a side of me that has been neglected the majority of my life. I have sat on my patio for hours and watched as the sun began to set and the daytime critters go into hiding while the nighttime critters make their prowl. I have taken mindful walks to truly engage with my surroundings. Just this afternoon I found a trail that lead to the woods and it was one of my favorite walks yet. I came across a beautiful fountain. Tiny birds were dancing around the tree branches and flittering about in the water. I spent a few juicy minutes soaking every sight and sound in. There were chirps from I presume to be cicadas and different tweets and hums from the birds. The babbling of the water hitting the stone from its fountain spout. The fountain spout was a bronzish color and in the shape of a cat head. There were different shades of green from the trees and brushes and a beautiful sun beam piercing its way through the tree tops. I decided to continue on the path and much to my surprise, and also poor mister lizard’s, I had startled a komodo dragon who was pleasantly sunbathing on a rock in the path. My presence was unwelcome and he quickly tour through the bushes to safety. After a few moments of laughter and apologies, I continued my walk. This path was ridden with butterflies. They ranged from different shades of ash, brown, white, and blue. Some had small spots on their wings and others had stripes. They were all equally beautiful and graceful. As I paused in my stroll to look at what was around me, I saw a tiny little peach tree. The poor thing had about as many branches and leaves as Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree, but it was still producing fruit. I believe I counted 4 peaches on the branches. Lucky for the peaches a rope of barbed wire kept them from my grasp. I walked on this path until I spotted another house. In order to respect their property and privacy, I decided it was best to turn around. On my walk back I noticed things I hadn’t before. Little coves in the hill which I imagined animals had made into quite cozy homes. Intricate spider webs with the artist sitting proudly in the middle displaying their colorful and creepy bodies. A tiny little inchworm hanging from a tree branch that I helped make it to the ground safely. But best of all, I found my spot. Back by the fountain there is a little space that the sun hits just enough to be pleasant and the trees cover just to provide enough shade. There is a small gathering of water that is home to several tadpoles. And it all looks over the mountains. While I have a mere five to six days left here in Naini Tal, I have decided to make a point to visit that spot once daily. It is where I will find my connection with self and be able to process what I have learned throughout the day.

At first I was disappointed that I didn’t take my phone with me on the walk as I didn’t have a device to take pictures, but the more thought I have put in to it, the more I have decided that it was a blessing. Without my mind being focused on taking pictures I was able to truly see what was around me and appreciate its beauty. So please, give yourself just a simple five minutes with just nature and yourself at least once a week. I promise it will make a difference.

Aarohi Livelihood Center

On June 23 the group spent our morning at the Aarohi Livelihood Center. This center manufactures natural handmade soaps, scrubs, oils, herbs, jams and chutneys, linens, and wools. It is a nonprofit organization and everything benefits the villages directly.

We were split into four groups of three to better participate in the different stations. My first station was the herb packing facility. I was asked to turn little white cloth bags inside out so that the seam wasn’t showing. Then Joe (a fellow student) would use a thin stick to make the corners clear. It was a simple task and I was happy to help. While I did not do as much as I had hoped, I’m sure every little bit helps. The room was filled with the aroma of rosemary, thyme, peppermint, and more. The next station was the apricot oil station. Unfortunately there wasn’t much for us to do, but we were taught about the machines and the process. I love being in that room because the smell is calming and very pleasant. You walk in and instantly playfully smacked in the face with the smell of pure apricots. I also enjoy the different textures of the materials used. It all starts with an apricot kernel (seed). These are put into a grinder which produces both a type of bark which is dried out for at least 15 days and then sent off to be turned into a powder for scrubs, and it makes the oil. It fascinates me how efficient this material is. It yields a decent amount of product which is in demand. The third station was the soap making station. We got to watch them prepare jasmine soap batter. I never realized how time consuming it was to make soap bars. Mixing the batter didn’t take too long, but it was being told the duration of the drying process that surprised me. My final station was the packing station. It was a very simple task of putting stickers on jars and making sure everything matched up. I really enjoy it when things are aligned. It is one of many weird quirks. We had finished all of the jars and I was disappointed to not be able to continue.

I love visiting the Livelihood center. I have spent a fair share of money in their shop buying gifts for those important to me. It makes me happy that I can purchase a wonderful gift for someone and it benefits the village surrounding.

A Simpler Way of Life

On Saturday, June 20^th, my group got up very early and we traveled to Naini Tal to stay with families in the Himalayan Mountains.  The first day was difficult: five hour train ride and then another three hours of driving to our station. There was a lot of motion sickness, fatigue, and irritability. I know for me personally, all of these symptoms went away once I truly saw where I was. Pictures cannot do the view justice. Where I am staying I can overlook the mountains and watch the most gorgeous sunsets. My only complaint. . . I’m not so much a fan of the spiders the size of my hand waltzing into my bathroom like they own the place. I am embarrassed to admit, but the sight of one of those monsters gave me an instant anxiety attack. It’s all a part of the experience.

My homestay family is absolutely wonderful. They are so very patient and kind and helping me to practice my Hindi. The brother, Sanje, speaks English as well as Hindi and is very helpful in translating things I don’t quite understand. The food is amazing. It is all homemade from fresh ingredients often grown in the family’s garden. The mother hand mixes the flour and water together to make dough. This dough is then separated and rolled into small rottis (Indian flat breads). The rottis are then put on a pan over the fire and flipped once. Once they have gotten some brown spots they are thrown into the fire to get them to puff up and then put in a dish where they flatten out. These things have become my new favorite food.

The bedroom I am staying in is shared with two other girls from my group. We are in our own separate part of the house with three beds, our own patio and bathroom.  The beds are something that took a bit of adjusting to. They are very stiff cots with a simple pillow and blanket. While the first night of sleep was very difficult, I haven’t experienced the slightest bit of back pain since using this bed. Our bathroom is very interesting and took about a day to get used to. We have an Eastern toilet, if you don’t know what that means then look it up. I feel that going into too much detail can make people uncomfortable. There is a window that cannot be closed to ensure proper ventilation. That window happened to be the very culprit for letting gigantic spiders in. My roommates and I came together and decided that after the sun goes down, the window must be patched up.

Life is very simple here and I think that is why I find everything so beautiful and peaceful. I did laundry by hand and then hung everything over the railing of my patio. Internet and phone service barely even exists. It is so nice to be cut from the electronic tether. I’ve made a point to give myself some time each evening to sit on the patio and be mindful of my surroundings. I have seen several toads, butterflies, and very interesting beetles. There are monkeys and cows everywhere. The mountains are a myriad of different greens from the trees. The sky is of the most crystal blue with the purist white of clouds purposefully painted in certain areas. At night you can see tiny villages lit up in the mountains as the families cook and eat their dinners. If I could give anyone one thing, it would be to experience the peaceful beauty of living in Nainital.